February 16, 2021 / Leave a Comment
A matter of trust.
On my daily walk to the beach, I first stumbled over a squirrel jumping in front of me. Glaring at me and then it ran off.
Next, I see this tiny Robin as the bird is picking grain from the ground. I stop!
Grab my iPhone and take pictures of it. Half a meter away from me, he stops! Glares at me, then I got the shot. Trusting, it eagerly jumps around, now closer by my side. I smile. I’m in joy. Then I take off walking to the beach.
My point is: trust between; humans and birds and birds to the humans. And trust between; humans and animals and animals to the human. The major thing is trust between humans and humans.
Can we always trust each other?
I gave my ex to many years of my unconditional love, faithfulness, honesty and loyalty. I trusted everything what was told during the love-bombing phase. What was the purpose? He was getting to know all my soft spot, my family issues, my hopes, my past, my dreams. I forgive! I trust! But, did he ever care? It was only about gathering information. To use my most intimate details and to use my secrets to hurt me later.
And then it just happened… I figured out that I had been lied to all the time. Such people lie like others breathe. But honestly, it wasn’t only all the many lies. It was the massive manipulation, and suddenly I woke up and finally realised that he mentally abused me. Taken advantage of me the entire time and even though I stayed confused about his feelings…. nothing was enough anymore!
His expectations for me to be his slave in unconditional love. The lies and put up with his dishonesty! Loan after loan and no one did he ever pay back.
Then the cyber-stalking began. And of course the story that where told to everyone; he NEVER loved me, he didn’t even know me. But strangely in his opinion; it was my loss not being together with him any more…. I wonder what exactly did I lose? Whatever he thinks I’ve lost…. I haven’t looked for it at all! And I’m grateful for that. Such people are irrelevant, a stranger to me, a person I can’t trust, yet I trusted him too much.
I regained my-self-worth. I see the beauty in life again. The bird trusted I wouldn’t harm it. I trusted it to stay so I could get a close-up shot of it. Again, I have happy hopes for a brighter future!