What changed in my personality?

What was the biggest thing I changed about myself after being in a relationship with him?
And what was the biggest thing I changed after I realised all the RED flags I had overruled?

I don’t care what he or others think about me. If they like me as I am, well, that’s great! If not, I don’t care.

When I at first meet others I am now very careful and don’t believe in what anyone tells me. I sit back and look for them to show me integrity.

  • When I met my boyfriend, he left his previous girlfriend only to be with me.
  • He claimed to love me within a week and spoke about marriage shortly after he met me. Quickly he made me an offer of marriage even I was still not divorced.
  • He wanted to move in with me within a matter of few weeks.
  • Everything was a lie, and I didn’t see the RED FLAGS.

I don’t compromise anymore to get acceptance or love from another person.

  • He asked me a lot of personal questions and later he used them against me.
  • He called me his soulmate / I was his destiny, and we were created for each other.
  • It was all a lie and full of dozens of RED FLAGS I overruled.

I can now sniff out narcs quickly. Backtracking my life with him turns up-side-down my stomach.

  • Unexpectedly he told me things about his troubled life that “he never had told anyone before”. Well, how interesting that was, getting it all in a 15 pages word document, just to rectify himself.
  •  Reading it I didn’t see the many RED FLAGS, yet they were all written down in black and white. In my infatuation to him once again I overruled all the RED FLAGS.

I no longer avoid situations in my life. I confront them and let the chips fall where they may.

  • He told me that my to-be-ex was a deranged stalker on drugs. A pimp! A fraud! A thief! A liar! A psychopath that used me and sold my body to other men. A massive RED FLAG, and I shouldn’t have trusted my boyfriend’s lies. Deep down in my soul I knew my husband was not like that. Multiply RED FLAGS! Was my new boyfriend portraying himself?

I now hold myself back to please others.

  • My new boyfriend wanted to spend every minute of the day with me and I thought it was the ultimate of happiness.
  • He manipulated me sexually and said it was the best sex he has had in forever. No one could please him as I could.
  • It was all a massive lie, and I overruled the many RED FLAGS by trusting him.

I no longer must prove myself to anyone.

I deal with my feelings in a healthy way and value those I care about more.

I don’t volunteer to help people as much anymore.

  • It was always fine for my boyfriend with me picking up the bills. Paying for his entire lifestyle. RED FLAG! And why didn’t i see it was wrong?

I now live my life on my own terms. I am no longer full of upset stomach feelings of his extreme highs and lows. I feared him. Life is on a perfect path now. I am free of my abuse boyfriend.

I have finally learned what true love and life is. And it’s not with him, because it was not stable nor beautiful, and I now sees all the RED FLAGS that I had overruled.

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