February 4, 2021 / Leave a Comment
What made me be so attached to to my new boyfriend?
Did I have attachment issues because I had poor self-confidence, and big desires for a romantic relationship?
I quickly felt my new boyfriend liked me from the first moment we meet, so with him I felt I was a likeable person with worth. I sensed my husband didn’t like me anymore, so I believed it was because I was not likeable anymore and then I got afraid of being left. When i met this new man on a hot summery day, I got tempted with his charm and many promises of a better life.
To quickly I became attached to the other man because I felt I wasn’t likeable. I thought I was not worth being liked, but the other man quickly could tie his worth in me. I tied myself-image into how he would feel about me, so the fact that he liked me was a fluke, I felt an obsessive attachment to him liking me so that he didn’t leave me. At first, I wanted him as a best friend, then I became more attached to him and wanted him as a life partner who would love me to the grave. I became desperate to make sure he adored me so I became too attached and anxious; afraid I would lose him and my worth with him. I thought I could be better-off with him. Become more confident, work on myself and be happier with who I was if I was together with him. Maybe I was more attached to the idea of everlasting love more than the person I had attached to. Then I tried to rush things and forced myself to believe I was intensely in love with him. Might be I was chasing a ghost, an unachievable goal or had the feelings that it was not real. So how could I keep myself from getting too attached to this mysterious and charming man?
Then there were those things no one told me about of how a narcissists he really was.
- That my love of my life would be my worst enemy from day one.
- I would be sleeping with my worse enemy.
- That he through the love bombing were secretly cheating and lying.
- That in the space of a year I would be shelved as he was already working on a new supply behind my back.
- Some of my best friends would become my worst enemies because he would lie about them… constantly.
- When I first meet him, I would say thank you God for giving me the partner I had prayed for. Later I would pray to go back to the day before I met him.
- Within the first year although the signs were evident, I would try to stay on to either save face or trying to make it work with new boyfriend.
- When I finally separated after losing my self-esteem, my money, my friends, my years & my trust I would hear all I should have heard before starting the relationship with this charming and dangerous magnetic man.